The Ten Commandments for Church Signs

In my last post on Church Signs, I mentioned the book Silent Words Loudly Spoken: Church Sign Sayings, which looks cool.  Here's its humorous list of commandments for church sign use.

1. Thou shalt not use so many words that it's impossible to read the entire message when traveling ten miles per hour over the speed limit, the slowest anyone will drive.
2. Thou shalt use large enough letters so they can be read easily from the road on a foggy night by a driver who has a burned out headlight.
3. Thou shalt not keep the same message in the sign for weeks on end, giving the impression that nobody's minding the church.
4. Thou shalt not leave a time-dated message on the sign more than a day after the event or holiday.  You might as well put "we can't keep up with the times" on your sign.
5. Thou shalt use different messages on each side of the sign so people get into the habit of reading both coming and going.
6. Thou shalt keep the message positive.  Who wants to be scolded by a sign?  A negative message, no matter how true, when given without the benefit of the human touch of love, will be rejected anyway.
7. Thou shalt not leave the sign empty, for this communicates you have nothing to say and have said it clearly.
8. Thou shalt use thought-provoking messages that leave the reader pondering.
9. Thou shalt not promote "in house" programs of no interest to the average person driving or walking by.  John Q. Public couldn't care less that the Right Reverend I.M. Boring is going to be the guest preacher next Sunday.
10. Thou shalt not use "thou" or other "in house" religious terms on your sign.

And here's a couple more of my own:

• Thou shalt not use terms that can be easily misunderstood as sexual innuendos - Jesus may be coming, he may love children, and the tongue may do many things, but putting that on your sign sends a strange message.  And if your pastor's name is Richard, tell him you can't use the name "Dick" on your sign, no matter what his mother calls him.
• Thou shalt spell check. 

Comments

[Cineaste]

Here is a Coupon I "photoshopped" specifically for Two or Three.net. Original image from Atheist Eve. It saves atheists time and energy.

[Aaron]

While that is funny Cin, I don't think that is exactly the case of what happens here.

[Cineaste]

Riiiiiiight :)

[Tracie Harris]

The image at

http://moviemasterworks.com/blog/wp-content/PostImages/coupon.png

contains my art and my copyright, but it has been altered. A lot of people repost or link to Eve strips, and I almost never have objections; however, this has been altered, and I have to ask that it either be posted without alteration from the original, or that it be taken down.

I am certainly flattered (and even grateful) that anyone liked this piece; but I have to protect the work to some degree from copyright infringement. I wanted to e-mail privately--but I didn't see an e-mail link. I don't mind if my post is deleted after it is read. I don't mean to make it a public issue. I just want to protect my work.

Thanks for understanding.

Tracie Harris
*Creator of Atheist Eve*
Austin, Texas

[seeker]

Tracie - sorry, that was not us, but one of our commenters.

Cin, can you take it down?

[Tracie Harris]

Thanks very much. I was able to follow the link from the poster's signature and send a private e-mail after all to the Web site e-mail link.

I appreciate the help.

Tracie

[Cineaste]

Hi Tracie, I received your email. I removed the cartoon and sent you a thank you email in return. Your work is an inspiration to me. Here is a copy of my email I sent you...

Hi Tracie,

I have removed the comic per your request. I apologize if I have inconvenienced you in any way. Thank you very much for letting me know. I think Atheist Eve is great and I hope you continue your work for a long time to come. I promise to still link to your work so the ultra right wing Evangelicals on the forum I frequent will be exposed to humor from an atheist's perspective. I only wanted to be funny with the edits but I should have thought to ask your permission first. As an atheist, I feel outnumbered at "Two or Three" so insightful and witty comic humor like yours is a great way to make a point. Again, thank you so much for your efforts!

Cineaste

[Cineaste]

I just wanted to post Tracie's response so you know this is resolved.

"I am ALWAYS flattered whenver someone likes my work. And thanks so much for being so civil about it. I appreciate it very much.

Anything I can do to support the cause!

Thanks again."

-Tracie

- Cineaste